This morning I took a pregnancy test. I really, really wanted to try to wait, at least until Sunday or Monday morning, because right now I’m only 12 dpo (days past ovulation), and I know that can sometimes be too early to pick up anything. I didn’t want to get disappointed by an early negative that could possibly be false.
So what happened? Nothing, only one lonely line. Just before I gave it up for negative, I noticed a very, very, VERY faint second line. Very faint. But it was definitely there. So of course I went online immediately and looked up “very faint line on pregnancy test” to see what other people have gotten. I saw a couple photos of tests that looked very similar to mine, and almost all of them said “A LINE IS A LINE!” So that’s encouraging, but I don’t know, it was really faint. But it was nice to get good news from what I found online for once, instead of the normally discouraging news.
Trying to keep it all in perspective - not getting too up or too down about it. But really, after having a little crisis of faith yesterday, it feels so good to feel good about it again. I was so happy this morning on my way into work - it’s a stunningly gorgeous day with a tiny hint of fall in the air. The fall is my very favorite time of the year - a time for new beginnings I feel - and to be pregnant in the fall, how perfect. And I really hope that on the outside chance I am not pregnant this month, I will be able to look back at this time and remember how happy and hopeful I am feeling right now, and appreciate that THIS IS WORTH IT, no matter how it turns out. THIS is the feeling I need to hold onto, regardless of the outcome.